CC's Random Thoughts

Navigation

Franklin, TN, USA		Manila, Philippines

Temperature:	As of :	Temperature:	As of :

Background pictures illustrate current weather conditions

CC's Tweets

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

You've-Gained-Weightaphobia (a.k.a. You're-So-Fatophobia)

Current Mood:

I weighed 120 pounds when I left Manila, and now I'm 140--I gained 20 whole pounds. It wasn't sudden; my weight just slowly crept up and up until it reached the point where looking at myself in the mirror was not a pleasant experience.

What actually triggered my diet though was the thought that I'd be visiting Manila. The thought of friends (and especially relatives) gasping and crying out "You've gained weight!" when they see me made me anxious.

And yes, many people in Manila WILL say that. The more worldly-wise ones are aware that it can be insulting and instead will opt not to say anything, but that doesn't happen very often.

Some people even go so far as to deny that it's insulting at all. They say that it's supposed to be a compliment--they're complimenting the fact that you can afford to eat well. I don't believe it for a second. They claim it's a compliment, but if you listen to their tone it's anything BUT complimentary: it's a cross between pity and amazement. And then when you call them on it or seem offended they'll either look shocked and say, "But I meant it as a compliment...!" or they'll marvel at how overly sensitive you are.

Besides, I have proof that it's not a compliment. One time when I came back from the States after being away for a few months, an acquaintance who was with his friend saw me and gave the "You've gained weight" remark. I had actually said "Why, thank you," in all my naivete. The other guy, and I don't even KNOW him, chuckled and muttered, "It's not a compliment."

This really happened, I swear.

Anyway--dieting for fear of being called fat. Talk about low self-esteem :-).

I'm exercising and dieting more now. I'm definitely more conscious about eating less than I used to. I think what's working for me is that I'm reading Dr. Phil's "The Ultimate Weight Solution" book while I'm working out to Gilad's exercise shows. Dr. Phil takes care of the inside (i.e. reprogramming my low self-esteem) while Gilad takes care of the outside :-). They're both incredibly motivating in their areas of expertise :-).

I may not be losing weight as quickly as they advertise on those TV infomercials ("Lose 10 pounds in 7 days!") but I'm healthier now than I was at my original 120 pounds. I feel it :-). And the best part is, if I keep at it, one day I'll be healthy AND 120 :-).

Posted by Unknown | 6:44 PM | 2 Comments |

Write or read comments about this entry