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Saturday, May 17, 2008

Like Getting Married All Over Again

Current Mood:
CC is listening to: The Nearness of You--Ella Fitzgerald (The Best of Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong on Verve)

A co-worker of mine asked me a few days ago if I was interested in looking at china and glassware and crystal ware. Her mother-in-law had passed away a few months ago and left behind many of these things. My co-worker didn't feel right about selling them at a garage sale and going through the process of negotiating and haggling the price on things that didn't belong to her (I can understand that--I don't think I could do that either, it's almost like putting a price on someone's memory). So she decided she'd give them away to friends who'd be able to give them a good home :-).

I'm giving LOTS of things a good home :-). Instead of describing each item one by one I decided to take a picture instead. Here's a shot of all the china and glassware that I received. I have casserole dishes, float glasses, silver platters, really cool stuff :-). It's like getting married all over again :-).

I also took home a stack of books :-). They're all cookbooks except for one: it's Amy Vanderbilt's Complete Book of Etiquette: A Guide to Gracious Living, from 1957. Another co-worker of mine who was with me at the time said, "Every Southern woman has this book. You've got to keep this one :-)."

Steve and I are having a lot of fun reading through it :-). Take, for example, these excerpts from Chapter 23: "The Fastidious and Well-Mannered Woman:"

"A well-groomed woman is carefully girdled, if necessary, from the time she gets up until she undresses for the night..." (Can't...breathe...)
"It is far better to wear a simple, starched house dress, a clean one daily, if you must do housework..." (Okay that's just silly)
"Every woman should change for dinner, if only into a clean house dress...Fresh clothes and make up, even if you are to be alone with the children for a simple meal, are psychologically sound and bring a needed change in the day's pace. Fresh grooming for evening is one of the criteria of gentility." (Oh my God, I'm a barbarian :-))

Naturally we had to check out the rules for the men as well :-).

"The husband who gives himself a shaving holiday on a day at home is in the same class as the wife who doesn't put on her make-up or take her hair out of curlers until afternoon." (Oh my God, we're BOTH barbarians :-))
"It is only human for a man to want his secretary to be neat, attractive, and, if possible, pretty. He has to look at her all day long." (Okay, that could have been more positively positioned)

Don't get me wrong, I love the book. I can see myself referring to this any time I'm unsure of how to behave in a particular social situation. It's 665 pages and is pretty comprehensive: it's got instructions on how to set the table for an informal, semi-formal, or formal meal; how to make an overnight guest feel at home; the kind of letters that must be handwritten; there's even a section on how you should behave when you meet the Pope.

If you're aware enough to know which practices won't work in this day and age (practicality issues, gender biases, etc), this book can come in really handy. I might even decide to get the 1995 updated version :-).

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