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Saturday, February 11, 2012
Best Life Advice I've Gotten
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: The Carriage Road--Jim Chappell (Acadia)
I've been visiting a lot of self-help websites lately, and I came across an article that resonated with me so strongly because of the sheer brevity of it: in just over 500 words it summarizes not only what I needed to know about myself, but also how to best support others. I'm passing it on :-).
What You Need to be Successful by Bob Mueller
We must give to others both roots and wings.
There are two messages that all human beings need to receive. They are the messages of affirmation and of personal responsibility. These two messages are like the two legs on which a person can walk successfully through life.
The message of affirmation is this: "You are a unique human being, the one and only you. There never was and there never will be another you. You are a real gift to this world and a person of inestimable worth."
The message of responsibility is this: "As you mature into adulthood, you must take your life into your own hands. You must, at this time, assume full responsibility for your life, your emotions, and attitudes. The outcome of your life is in your hands. When you look into a mirror, you are looking at the one person who is responsible for your happiness."
These two messages have been compared to "roots and wings." We must give to others both roots and wings.
The roots of any human existence are the roots of personal worth, of self-confidence - the roots of belief in one's own uniqueness. The message that offers roots is that of unconditional love.
The wings of a human existence are the wings of self-responsibility. Giving a person wings is the message that "You have everything needed to soar, to sing your own song, to warm the world with your presence. You must take your life into your own hands. You must not blame others and complain about your lack of opportunity. You must assume full responsibility for the course and direction of your life."
The message of roots says to an individual: "You've got it!" The message of wings says: "Now go for it!"
How Do You Help Someone Else?
In the process of loving another and providing roots and wings, there are three important stages:
1. Kindness: a warm assurance that "I am on your side. I care about you."
Someone has wisely said that "people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care." To build a relationship on any foundation other than kindness is to build on sand. I have to know that you really want my happiness and my growth, that you really are "for me," or I won't open at all to your influence.
2. Encouragement: a strong reassurance of your own strength and self-sufficiency.
What all people need most is to believe in themselves. They need confidence in their own ability to take on the problems and opportunities of life. To "en-courage" means to put courage in. Encouragement instills into the recipient a new and fuller awareness of his or her own powers. Encouragement says: "You can do it!"
3. Challenge: a loving but firm exhortation to action.
If encouragement makes the loved one aware of his or her strength, challenge is the loving push to use this strength: "Try. Stretch. Do it. If you succeed, I will be in the front row clapping my hands off. If you fail, I will be sitting right at your side. You won't be alone. Go ahead now. Give it your best shot. Go for it!"
A Dickens of a Christmas... and a Dickens of a Blog Entry
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: Nothing right now
This month marks the second year that Steve and I have lived in Williamson County in Tennesssee. We often talk about how much we love living here, and I've always wondered how I could best describe why. Turns out I don't have to. The video below explains it well.
As you're watching, notice the shots of downtown Franklin--the Main Street USA looking place--because it preps you for what I'll be talking about next :-).
For the last 25 years Franklin has held a tradition that Steve and I had an opportunity to participate in last weekend: the Dickens of a Christmas street festival. Every second weekend of December, downtown Franklin takes you back to Victorian times as shopowners, theater groups and volunteers dress up in period costume, with some roaming the streets as characters from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" and the musical "Oliver".
Steve and I went to the festival on Sunday, when it was scheduled to run from noon to 5pm. We decided it would be a good idea get there early so we can get a parking spot at the only parking garage in the immediate area. We got there at around 11:30, which apparently was just in the nick of time... the only parking slots left in the 4-level parking garage were on the top floor.
There were already people milling around in the streets
As we headed towards the public square, I kept telling Steve how much it felt like walking down Main Street USA at a Disney theme park... but what I loved was that these buildings weren't props...they were real. That's not a prop sign, a real lawyer works there :-).
At the public square, I came across my first people in Victorian garb by the Festival Headquarters tent.
I was a little shy to ask if I could have my picture taken with them, but they were very nice and welcoming :-).
And then I heard... "Christmas Cahds! GET yer Christmas cahds 'ere!"
I turned to look and there was a young man walking around selling Charles Dickens Christmas cards...and he was selling them with a cockney accent. "Merry Chrismus!" He was telling passersby. "GET yer Christmas cahds 'ere!"
I was tickled pink--I absolutey loved how some people were in character, truly game to play :-).
I asked Steve for $5 (what he was selling the cards for) and quickly walked after him.
"Excuse me," I said.
He turned. "'allo there," he said, smiling.
I smiled back and said, "I'll make a deal with you. I'll buy one of your Christmas cards if you pose for a picture with me."
He nodded, grinning. "Oi can do tha'. Tha' sounds like a real good deal."
I was dressed in a red leather jacket and jeans for a reason :-). I fished around in my purse. "Okay I need you to look at this like it's the strangest thing you've ever seen." I barely finished my sentence when he noticed what I had in my hand.
"OOOHHH!!!" he yelled, laughing and throwing his arms up in the air. He suddenly gave me a big hug. "That's the 10th doctor's sonic screwdriver!" he exclaimed. "Yes it is!" I laughed, because not only did he know that it was a sonic screwdriver, he specifically knew WHICH one it was. And at this point, he had totally broken character :-).
It was really easy to pose for the picture after that :-).
One of Steve's favorite stores in downtown Franklin is Franklin Tea (www.franklintea.com), so we stopped by so he could pick up a few teas. The ladies behind the counter were very nice and were also dressed in Victorian garb for the festival. They did admit that they couldn't really wear a full bustle since it would make it tough to move around the shop, but their dresses still looked lovely. Ladies in Victorian wear, in a tea shop...the whole scene reminded me of Mary Poppins :-). Steve bought two new tea varieties, and I got a cup of tea to help myself keep warm while we walked the streets. I asked for something English... it seemed only fitting :-).
As Steve was ordering his tea, I recognized Fagin from Oliver walking outside. I didn't get out of the store in time and was only able to get a picture of him walking away.
I did, however, get some great shots of a man riding a penny-farthing bicycle as well as some other people in period dress.
Walking back to the square, we ran into Ebeneezer Scrooge. This is the happy Scrooge now, because at last night's Christmas Carol show at the Franklin Theater he'd already been visited by the Christmas ghosts :-). He spoke with a British accent, too--all the characters that we met from A Christmas Carol and Oliver were playing their roles wonderfully.
Yes, those muttonchops are real :-).
One of the things we really enjoyed were the street performers. Many of them were children, and they even more adorable because they were dressed up Victorian style as well.
At the public square we ran into a couple of bobbies (who are actually real Franklin police officers) who were very obliging when I asked for a picture :-).
We also came across the ghosts of Christmases past and present :-).
And I FINALLY got my picture taken with Fagin :-).
Steve didn't quite know who he was until we were walking away. When I told him he was Fagin from Oliver, he said, "Check your pockets :-)."
Here are some other pictures we took at the festival:
Steve in front of the tree at the public square
There were lots of people in downtown Franklin by this time.
Carriage rides were $2.
One of the many historical houses in downtown Franklin. This lovely home is a wedding venue.
You know it's an awesome festival when dogs are welcome :-)
We also came across a store that sold sugar plums. "I've never had a sugar plum," I said, and Steve handed me some money so I could taste a classic Victorian treat and know what it meant for children to have visions of sugar plums dance in their heads.
Another highlight of our day was listening to the Clearview Baptist Church Handbell Choir. I've never heard a handbell choir before, and I didn't know what it was going to sound like. Part of me thought it was either going to sound like a chorus of bicycle bells, or it was going to sound as imposing as big cathedral bells.
I was wrong. I didn't realize bells could sound elegant and comforting, and I had to keep myself from choking up a few times while they played "Ding Dong Merrily on High."
I was so hoping they'd play Carol of the Bells, and they did. It sounded awesome :-).
The rest of the day was spent eating :-). I had freshly made apple fritters while Steve had tamales. On the way back to the parking garage the Roasted Chestnuts stand had opened, so naturally I had to get some chestnuts for myself. Steve's not a big chestnut fan though :-).
Steve and I had a wonderful time, and said that from now on, if my travels to Manila permit it, we'll go every year :-). We're already planning to dress up a little more for it next year. He's thinking of getting a Victorian top hat for himself :-).
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: Nothing right now
Have you ever wondered why sometimes we say "It's only Thursday?" and sometimes we say "It's Thursday *already*?" And when we say that, that other people don't seem to feel the same way?
I saw this show on the plane heading back from the Philippines. It absolutely fascinated me. The title is, "Does Time Really Exist?"
You start the show saying, "Pshh, of COURSE time really exists." By the end of the show, you realize that you really know nothing about time.
Arguments made in the show:
Time is the same for everybody vs. time is different for each person
Time is a physical reality vs. time is an illusion our brain creates to keep track of changes happening around us
Time is one dimensional (it moves as a line) vs. time is two-dimensional (it's actually a shape)
10 years after college, and I finally get:
why astronauts in outer space age faster than people on earth
how space relates to time
why our bodies wake us up just before the alarm clock goes off
how the concept of parallel universes (other versions of our universe existing at the same time) started
Some "Whoa, dude" moments:
Because our brain needs time to process everything that's going on around us, our awareness of the event is delayed by a few milliseconds. That means what we experience as "now" is actually a few milliseconds in the past.
Schizophrenia might actually be a disorder of time perception, that the schizophrenic's brain is unable to link an action to its resulting consequence.
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: Nothing right now
A friend of mine sent me a message saying I hadn't posted much on Facebook lately and hoped I was okay :-). October was just so packed with stuff I hadn't had time to post much at all... sorry about that. How busy was I? Well...
Start of October I went with a team to an instructional design seminar in Atlanta which sparked an internal training development project that I had to create handouts for in 3 days.
I had a little bit of a breather when Steve and I went to Gatlinburg for 4 days for a late anniversary getaway :-). We rented this gorgeous Victorian-inspired cabin (Steve liked it too, although he did mention that if he was single that that wasn't the kind of cabin he'd rent LOL). I also decided that since Steve and I don't really have too many pictures of us together (it's always either just him or me in our pictures), I decided that we'd hire a photographer for the trip. Chastidyi took awesome pictures, and her idea of us going to a nearby field to have a few shots with the Smoky Mountains in the background was just brilliant :-). It was raining a little bit at the time but I think that kind of weather helps create the smoky effect :-).
After we got back from Gatlinburg I flew out to the Philippines the next day where we piloted the stuff I made for the Cebu site. After the pilot project I flew back to Manila and pulled an all-nighter (or in the Philippines' case, an all-dayer :-)) helping finish a presentation for a client. I had to extend my stay a couple of days. I actually just got back to the US Wednesday night at 11pm...it was a long itinerary (MNL-NRT-SEA-DTW-BNA). I was so out of touch with the world that while I was in Narita and decided to check the news to see what was going on, I saw the headline about Gaddafi being buried in an undisclosed location in order to prevent vandalism and enshrining. I thought to myself, "Gaddafi's dead?"
The next morning back in Nashville I helped prep for my bosses' Halloween party which was Friday night. Steve and I were working the haunted hay maze and by request, I reprised last year's role as Sadako (the girl from Ringu) :-). Judging by the fact that this year I got hit 3 or 4 times by little kids with candy bags (one of them tried to yank the wig off my head and another one got a good solid punch in my gut), I'd say the costume still works LOL :-).
This weekend was the first true weekend I've had to myself all month :-). I decided to decorate the front of our condo for Halloween. Didn't take me long at all, and was pretty pleased by how it turned out :-). Steve posted the pictures on Facebook; I'll make sure to share it so you can see.
I also managed to start another blog entry...I just have to finish it and I'll post it soon. Amusingly enough, it's about time--and how little we know of it, scientifically speaking :-).
Man, it's good to be home :-). Things will still be busy, but I don't think it'll be as extreme as it's been this month. At least I hope not :-).
Links in case Facebook doesn't copy the a href codes: Victorian Cabin: http://www.hearthsidecabinrentals.com/cabin.php?id=175&mo=1011&go=#availability Chastidyi's Pictures: http://orangecloudcreativestudio.zenfolio.com/p92939195
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: Nothing right now
“You’re probably not even Filipino anymore.”
Someone I was having a conversation with said that recently, and it’s not the first time I’ve been told that. Depending on the source of the statement, it’s either being meant as a compliment or a chiding remark.
Sometimes the statement makes me feel like I’m being put into some sort of “half-breed” category: not quite Filipino, not quite American. I’m in the gray area, where I don’t belong to either group.
I was born and raised in the Philippines, and I speak Filipino fluently. I even have a “Parañaque accent.” I moved to the US in 2004. I have the unique (and awesome) opportunity of working closely with a very principled entrepreneurial American executive team, which has given me a front-row seat to the American visionary spirit in action. I’m married to an American.
But it doesn’t mean I’ve lost my sense of being Filipino. As a matter of fact, I’ve become much more acutely aware of it, because sometimes it’s so clearly different from how everyone else around me thinks. Sometimes it allows me to help people more. Other times it gets me into trouble. But believe me, the nuances of one’s original culture is much more noticeable when that person is completely immersed in a different culture.
I do feel the need to reconnect to my Filipino self sometimes, especially since all my US-based relatives are either on the west coast or the east coast. In addition to the “call-the-folks-back-home-every-two-weeks” routine, I have several Pugad Baboy comic book digests next to my bed, which I sometimes read at bedtime.
When I find a comic strip particularly funny, I want to share it with Steve. So I try and translate it—not just literally, but idiomatically. It’s challenging, but I like doing it…it’s particularly satisfying when I succeed in making a Filipino joke universal. I guess it’s also a way for me to share my being Filipino with him. He loves adobo, by the way—he considers it one of his top 3 comfort foods. And he can make rice the way Filipinos do it: using his fingertip as a measuring device. “Sayang” is part of his everyday vocabulary.
I guess what I’m saying is that I’m proud of being bicultural. I get the opportunity to see the strengths and challenges of both my home cultures, and I get to combine the best of each. I suppose it’s almost like being able to go to Narnia, except *I* get to have a say as to when I get in and out of the wardrobe.
Current Mood: Currently Listening to: Nothing right now
10 years ago today people all around the world watched in horror as planes crashed into buildings, symbols of strength were destroyed, and office workers jumped to their deaths in desperation.
I still lived in the Philippines in 2001, and even though I didn't completely understand what the World Trade Center towers represented at the time, I could see the expression on people's faces as the news cameras zoomed in on them. Even through the dust and the cameras, the feeling of helplessness was palpable. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that the foremost thought on people's minds was, "Oh dear Lord, what do we do now?" And I had a feeling it was only a matter of time before helplessness would turn into panic and chaos.
And yet that's not what what happened. I did see the confusion, and I did see the anger, but most of all what I remembered was how people started helping each other. My most vivid memory of the aftermath was the line of people that snaked around buildings. They weren't in line to collect for handouts; they were in line to donate blood.
Everywhere I looked, the feeling that resonated through the TV screen was: "We're Americans, damnit, and we're going to get through this."
The song "The Change" says it best:
"I hear them saying: 'You'll never change things... No matter what you do it's still the same thing.' But it's not the world that I am changing-- I do this so the world will know that it will not change me."
As we remember September 11 and grieve for all the lives that were lost, instead of just focusing on how terrible this world can be to itself, let's focus on how people have risen above it... and let's continue rising.